Hola!

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It gives me immense pleasure to announce that though I’m not quite there with my Japanese, I’ve also started taking spanish tutions and tbh I don’t know where I’m going with the language but I’ve mastered the accent already 😄

Oh! For the love of reading…..DON’T ASK ME THAT QUESTION

What is your favourite book/novel/author?

I remember when I was a younger kid and had just discovered my love for reading….I actually hoped that people would ask me the above question while conversations. I mean, when you are new to reading and have read only four- five books till date, answer to that question is a bloody cakewalk!

The first full-length novel I read was Jane Eyre and the moment I was done with it I was damn confident about  JANE EYRE being the only best book ever written.

Now, why I decided to eat your ears(or eyes whatever) over this question is because at this point in my life I have read maybe a thousand books….alright make it a hundreds….and if anyone unexpectedly asks me the above question I go blank. I simply go blank. At some times I don’t even recall the best books I’ve read except some of the recent reads…and by recent reads I mean that book I picked up last night!

So I thought and thought and came to this conclusion that I do not have a favourite book or author. Coz u see, I have read so many books that I HAVE NUMEROUS OF FAVOURITES. And how can you have only one fav book or author unless all you read is Chetan Bhagat  and E.L.James. meh! More on nut job bestsellers some other time.

Anyways. So let’s just say I (and I guess even most of ya readers) go through the Favourite-author-phases, where you discover an awesome author and then devour all of his books like a maniac upto the point when you don’t find anything else written by him/her and then you end up following them on twitter just so you could read their tweets! Or maybe that’s just me. Never mind.
Like my recent one was the “Sidney Sheldon phase” after reading his ‘Tell me your dreams’. He writes suspense thrillers which are highly predictable but so addictive and I end up guessing the culprits in all of his books I’ve read and am still hungry for more I don’t even know why. As I said the writing is addictive. But of course even after reading  so many of his books if you ask me is he one of my fav authors my answer would be no. nor are his books on my favourite books list. Oh yeah, my favourite authors and favourite books lists have no common items. For example ‘To kill a mockingbird’ is definitely one of my fav books but Harper Lee isn’t  my fav author. Just like Bryan Weiss is one of my fav authors but his books are not on top of my fav books list. Go figure. Or don’t mind. P.S. I have read most of his books back to back and I don’t even read nonfiction. Bryan Weiss was my first nonfiction.

Just because the book thief is such an amazing book and obviously my fav, doesn’t mean I adore Markus zuzak. I don’t know a thing about that guy except he got a cool name and penned down an awesome book. Also ‘The Help’ (if you remember the 2012 movie that went to the Oscars) is one of my  favourites but ask me about its author…umm sorry but I don’t even remember her name now But I adore the book. The review on its front page said..”best book on the topic since to kill a mockingbird…” and that’s how I ended up reading To kill a mockingbird and liking it a little better than The Help.

A song of ice and fire is my fav fantasy series but  that old hag who goes on a killing spree every chance he gets and doesn’t release the next volume coz after reading the book very few people would care to watch the next game of thrones season, is NOT MY FAVOURITEFUCKINGAUTHOR!
Oh yeah! I was also on a Mitch Albom spree where after ‘The five peole you meet in heaven’,  I went on reading the timekeeper,  Tuesdays with morrie, The first phone call from heaven……That was three years back. I even considered him one of my fav authors and now here I am Google-ling “The timekeeper” COZIFORGOTTHEAUTHORSNAME . I forgot Mitch albom’s name! Wow. As a redemption I would like to make it clear that I still adore this guy.

I like the supernat/paranormal genre but not in case of books coz I haven’t found any books worth it. They either end up being boring classics or teen scream fiction. So, when I came across ‘Light as a feather , stiff as a board’ ( the book, not the game. Duh!) I absolutely loved it.  It had supernatural , paranormal, suspense(in the beginning , when you are doubtfull whether there is a paranormal element or just a killer human), tension,thrill, teen romance which was the best romance you can come across in teenfics, anticipation, sadness, nostalgia(bc of school setting and friendship elements) and it was an awesome book.  atleast the first two novels in the series. But I can proudly say I don’t remember the bitch author’s name and don’t want to coz she obviously ran out of whatever creative ideas and talent she had to end  the series in a complicated mess of twists and turns and the vindictive bitch didn’t stop there but killed  my only favourtite character in the whole book just for kicks. Just for kicks. It  served no purose other than stir up the emotions of the readers who had almost  given up on the storyline and were waaiting for the mystery to be revealed and the book to end. His death at the book’s end revived some publicity for the bitch (99.9% of it was fucking shocked-up readers going bat shit crazy and preparing her voodoo dolls) I mean I don’t get this. How can you create a character so adorable and then just kill it off so you can become the hot topic of discussion of teenagers going cussing crazy in your name.

Sigh! What phases did yall pass by? And which authors you hate inspite of  loving their books? Or do you?

Just Quotes

These are a few quotes I liked best fron this Great Book of quotes I got…

“Whatever I know how to do, I’ve already done. Therefore I must always do what I do not know how to do”- Eduardo Chillida

“It’s the addicts that stay with it. They’re not necessarily the most talented, they’re just the one that can’t get it out of their systems”- Harold Brown

“The only thing worse than being talked about, is not being talked about”- Oscar Wilde

“I swear to god, if I were a piano player or an actor or something and all those dopes thought I was terrific, I’d hate it. I would n’t even want them to clap for me. People always clap for the wrong things”- J.D. Salinger

We often miss opportunity because its dressed in overalls and looks like work- Thomas Edison

The least of things with meaning is worth more than the greatest of things without it- Carl Jung

The attraction of the virtuous for the public is very like that of the circus for the crowd. There is always the hope that something dangerous will happen. – Claude Debussy

I choose a lazy person to do a hard job. Because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it – Bill Gates

Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut- Ernest Hemingway

When I was a boy, I was told anybody could become President. Now I’m beginning to believe it- Clarence Darrow

A stock broker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him at this age, I don’t even buy green bananas- Claude Pepper

Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong-Anon

Never wrestle with a pig. You both get dirty and the pig likes it-George Bernard Shaw

You can’t make a baby in one month by getting nine women pregnant- Warren Buffet

A ship is àlways safe at the shore but that is NOT what it is built for- Einstien

Nihongo on my mind….and tongue. Rrrr…Llrrr..ddlrrr

Brightly colored though the blossoms be,

All are doomed to scatter,

So in this world of ours,
Who will last forever?

Today crossing the high mountain of life’s illusions,

We shall never allow ourselves to drift away

intoxicated, in the world of shallow dreams
                                    – by Not me 😉

So I decided to finally start learning Japanese and as you would never catch me dead (or living and doing my time) in a  coaching class I opted for virtual learning. As they/I say “if you decide to join a ‘class’ you would only be able to get as fast as the slowest student there OR if YOU happen to be the slowest one, no one’s going to wait up for you anyways.” Today’s contradictory statement!

So, the kanas, vocabulary and grammer were going pretty but the kanji sort of blew me away…but guess I’m lucky because at the right time I came across & quickly enrolled with this amazing website called ‘Wanikani’ which has decided to devote its virtual life in tutoring peple in kanji can you believe it! Plus their lessons are suberb and the teaching style is amazing and genuine. Does this sound like a promotion?….just to clear any doubts No, I’m not getting paid to say this. Anywho.

On the same note, I stumbled across this old Japanese poem called ‘Iroha Uta‘.  Older generations of Japanese often learned the alphabet by memorizing this poem, as it uses each sound/alphabet in Japanese EXACTLY ONCE and also manages to form an awesome meaning! Oh, and yes that above poem is just my fused up meaning of the Iroha’s  various translations . Here is one of the original version of the same:

Iro wa nioedo
Chirinuru o
Waga yo tare zo
Tsune naran
Ui no okuyama
Kyo koete
Asaki yume miji
Ei mo sezu

Now the only thing that bothers me is IF….. IF I get stuck at some point during the lessons and no virtual teacher can get me out and I’m earning for some in-human-flesh-teacher’s touch…okay that was too much..but seriously where am I to go? After all the things I’ve covered on my own if I somehow-I really doubt it- but lets assume that somehow I join a Japanese coaching class, its not like the teacher there would be pleased and say  “wow, you’ve already covered most of the part but you’re stuck with this little thing worry not child I’ll be more than happy to ditch my entire class to teach you and i’ll teach you THAT ONLY.” Nope. I would have to go through everything right from the beginning and it’s a dopey waste of time.. only if there were half as many language tutors as math ones! Private tutoring is like the most divine profession anyone can choose coz the tutor  is all yours and yours alone I love it!  Now that I’ve typed this down I wont worry about that shit for sometime….

Also i was looking for something totally irrelevant and ended up listening this Japanese song and I liked it from the first note itself …and it sounds really familiar .. and i cant figure out why. Anyways , it’s the title song of the anime ‘Tokyo Ghoul’ and its stuck in my head since.Especially the ending line”oshiete oshiete boku no naka ni dare ga iru no” viz. by the way the only  line I remember.

Now I have been through my ‘K-pop” phases but  never been into Japanese music but maybe that’s going to change…

P.S. if  you have ever like K-pop and stuff , listen to this song it will make you ditch K-pop or if you have never been into that kind of music still listen to this track. You may not understand a single syllable of what the guy is Singing but you will anyways love it….i think. Its kindda haunting and sweet at the same time. Its called “Unravel” by TK.

P.S.S. I guess I’ve messed up my normal accent  in a weird way trying to get the Japanese “r” right! Holy…

People…and their Groups….and Assignments given to…..GROUP ASSIGNMENTS YEAH THAT’S THE TITLE SUE ME!

This post is dedicated to group projects…. Where every person thinks they are the only ones possessing leadership qualities a.k.a. telling everyone else what to do and what not to do and after a few minutes everyone is arguing about how to do it and how not to do it and this takes up hours and I’m just sitting there enjoying the show coz no one is even going to remember their own shitty ideas by the time they step outside the gate and the next day this same discussion is going to take place! And maybe one day before submission some actual work would start on it. Yeah that’s how it works 6/10 times.

People! The reason why I dream of living that royal life in jungle where I’ve managed to befriend wild beasts all the while sporting that red underwear………What?! Nevermind.

And speaking of group projects , bless those of my kind including @nuttywordsmith who is currently going through that worst phase w.r.t. Group assignments which I won’t even curse my sister wit……..OMG THAT’S THE BEST POSSIBLE I MEAN THE WORST POSSIBLE CURSE I CAN GIVE THAT WHITENER WOW

Ahem! So yeah… group projects plus working with dumbass creatures who make you wonder if they are even humans …….I mean, I personally think that the day is not far when their brains would rust( from unuse) and tongues would fall off(from overuse). Bitches! And monkeys!

So I would take some effort to share tips with  anyone needing and  reading this (a remotely impossible thought in itself) about how to use your observation skills in NOT SELECTING the wrong members for your next team project:

1) You must have seen that person in class whose eyes lit up the moment the teacher mentions that its gonna be a “Group Project”? Yeah that one . Tick his face off your list.

2) The overexcited & giddy girl who won’t stop talking about “how awesome it would be if we both get the same group…” and then starts talking about her ideas about the project topic. Trust me. 9/10 times she won’t be good for anything except the talking…

3) Those who shamelessly comment, “I anytime looove group projects blahblahblah…..” which translates to ” I loove to do nothing and get an A.” Anywho. YOU don’t wanna looove them…..

4) Those kids who look like a huge mountain-load of crap has been lifted from their frail shoulders when they realize they are not supposed to do it alone? Now most of these kind won’t trouble you.They are maybe just low confident or not-that-good in their studies or whatever. But if you let them know what to do , be patient and help them when necessary everything will work out fine and that is the reason group projects were invented in the first place…Cooperation, team work , heping others……anyone?

5) But Remember, inability is never a problem, unwillingless is! And there’s a fine line between both so Observe closely. Now I always ‘Help’ people but my ass would never  ‘Do’ their share of work if you know what I mean! And niether should you because slavery was eradicated ages ago…

6) Also, beware of the sly foxes who manage to play project-politics which includes anything & everything from spreading silly rumours to useless gossiping and they somehow manage to pit atleast one pair of memebers against each other in a bad way! Now, this may seem silly & harmless but trust me when I say ‘miscommunication’ + ‘one-gossiping-bitch/dog-ready-to-seize-the-opportunity’ can be harmful in ways you don’t want to imagine!

7) Just keep your ears open ……and whenever a random classmate who you  barely know starts gossiping with you about some other person who is also barely an aquaintance……REMEMBER NOT TO INVITE THE FORMER IN YOUR NEXT PROJECT GROUP.

8) The most important thing to note here is – Most of the… or if you’re unluckier than me ALL OF THE TIMES you won’t be given the liberty to “choose” your group members BUT even if any of  these creatures get to be your assignment partners, recognizing  them would help you to shield yourself from their attacks as you would already know what that attack is gonna be…if that makes any sense!

Thanks for your tolerance.

STAY CALM!!! ….and do whatever you want.

I’m the calmest person you would never meet.Maybe. Or maybe not.
Go ahead and rebuff my ‘me-being-one-of-a-kind’ theories! So, if & when a tsunami hits the house door, and everyone’s going bat shit crazy , running like maniacs, I won’t even lift my gaze nor budge from my place till I finish that important game I’m  scoring so high on. This may sound like “yeah…which bull dropped that on the barn floor?” ( in Sheldon Cooper’s mom voice) to you. But no.I’m as serious as I can get right now.

Many a times I have enjoyed the benefits of this trait, say,when people around are freaking out and I’ll be one of those few who try to calm the shit down and I’ve been appreciated and envied for this superpower with lines like-“ you like really don’t give a shit about this right. Awesome. I like you”(Dean Winchester’s voice) or “ (chuck sound) how can you stay so calm , please teach me, I’m freaking out omg what would happen now blahblahblah…SAY SOMETHING!!”  OR “The fuck are you CRAZY? she just refused to accept our assignment and you want to go to the canteen..….what?you’re hungry?……i swear I’m going to kill you now …NO. NOT GOING TO THE CANTEEN!….Not even to the franky corner …..A PACKET OF CHIPS? SERIOUSLY ARE YOU FOR REAL!! …No wait don’t leave me here alone…I’m Coming too…”(My assignment partner’s voice)

“Now I don’t understand what’s the reason to panic in such a pussy situation.

1) I mean this is an internal test where teachers do not deliberately try to fail their students , rather they try their best to do the contrary.

2) We have seen this same teacher giving deadlines after deadlines to those fucktard students who don’t even bother to start their assignments even after the submission dates have passed by.

3) We have completed our work on time, are not one of those low graded, disrespecting-the-teacher kind of scum except some personal clash of opinions w.r.t. the said teacher..

4)We are not even practically late. Yes we didn’t submit it in her lecture but we tried to do the same in the hours before the bell rang off.

5)Yes, she said she won’t accept the assignment coz we didn’t come to submit it during her period but that is the  lamest argument I’ve heard since ..NO . I’VE NEVER HEARD such a lame argument in my life before. And people who believe such shit and are ready to crap their pants are the lamest ones. Not sorry.

6)She’s trying to simply scare us and she expects us to tail her behind and maybe belly dance for her amusement,  WHICH FYI I won’t do and neither  let you do it.

7)If we go to the Headmistress right now, maybe even she will scream “LAME” in her face. But then ratting would be so lame of us and also totally unnecessary because , if you trust me, the teach will dispatch one of her belly dancers to collect our assignments before (and most probably during) the last period if we ignore this subject for the day and pretend as if nothing happened. That’s how it works.
SO NO FUDGING NEED TO BE ON A HUNGER STRIKE IN FRONT OF THE STAFFROOM DOOR LETS GO EAT!”

Now explaining this to my assignment partner in my head sounds so cool but I don’t do that because it’s not like she would let me talk all this without her mindless interruptions and neither do I have that much time to stand there wasting my recess minutes considering the canteen is a good long marathon away from our building, of which we are currently on the fourth floor and the elevator says“FOR STAFF ONLY”. Talk about equal rights & whatev…

Many times people (mostlythe closest one’s) take me for a selfish ass for my freedom of non-expression and that hurts! Plus, to avoid confrontation I don’t care to explain and then afterwards it hurts more…

Okay so I’m not flaying about wildly in your  so-called anxious situations and nor am I participating in your “discussions” about that HUGE PROBLEM… but that doesn’t mean I’m “just sitting there”. I too am a little anxious……but I am thinking of solutions to overcome that problem of yours rather than eating everyone’s ears about the seriousness of the situation and adding to the noise pollution by saying/screaming intellectual stuff like “omg what to do now what to do what to do fuck I’m freaking out what should we do abcdxyz…”! And do you remember I was the only one who actually “helped you out” minus the giving-company-in-increasing-the-tension-on-the-planet stuff? Saint like qualities I know right!

Like that one time when your (1 yo?) baby got himself locked in the bathroom ……on my watch but that’s not the point……REMEMBER when you, you & all of you were busy panicking & screaming soothing words to him from the other side, simultaneously banging on the door, I WAS busy finding the pen knife and I did. And afterwards when ya’ll were busy screaming “DONT WORRY ITS ALRIGHT” to the kid it was ME applying my Breaking Bad skills Dean/Sam-style and finally it was ME who unlocked the door and rescued the kid (who looked as if on the verge Of having a stroke watching your horrible faces with equally horrifying expressions zoom flashing in his view). Not to mention how  you never thanked me but went about asking stupid questions like “How he got locked in the first place?”

Now I can go on giving a thousand examples like this but I like to keep it short.

So you see I’m not a Zen master I’m just too lazy to waste my breath on silly stuff and I think that’s fair enough. What say? If you don’t agree please don’t say anything because I won’t even care to make you understand…..waste of precious life-source you know.

Not exactly an extrovert…… but never an introvert!

There’s nothing like an introvert or an extrovert, considering its all a myth, considering I seem to fit in neither category. Now, I used to call myself an introvert and even today if someone asks me this question that’s what I answer coz I’m too lazy to explain. Plus that’s the popular opinion about me…….even though I always considered myself an extrovert…..or maybe nah!

I always was and still am that unknown person sitting next to you in the doc’s clinic or on the bus seat or in the check-out line or in the canteen queue waiting for my food, who is always the first one to initiate  a conversation out of the blue( to a few of ya’ll dismay or shock). But. I’m also that same person who gets tongue-tied like an idiot in front of known-since-years-cousin or aunt or some old family friend or some classmate. I’m that person who would approach you from across the room and say a “hi”if I would like us to be friends and I’m the same “is-she-dumb?” girl who responds to your constant blabbering with monosyllabic responses.

“Made friends already! We are an expert at that aren’t we? Haha …” is the comment I have received so many times (from my mom & uncle specifically) when they see me non-stop chit-chatting & laughing heads off with a person even unknown to them at a function or on my first day at a class or someplace new ….though I’m also the one who gets frequent comments like “why are you acting like that ? …and don’t sit mum over there….what’s the matter go say hi and hug and french kiss and slobber over her she’s  family after all.……i don’t understand you STOP EATING  & go make some friends WOW LOOK kids your age GO GO GO!!” (mostly from my mummy, with an expression viz.=A  mix of disgust+utterly pissed +wonderment+genuine concern).

I’m not the one to stifle my  laughter when I overhear a stranger’s joke but I’m the one who needs a strong push/shove/drag from mum to utter a word of greeting in front of someone.

People use adjectives like ‘naughty, friendly,cartoon,helpful, comedy,understanding,fun etc,etc, all things nice in no paticular order ,but wait, I’ve more often than not been called ‘sarcastic,self-absorbed,silent,speech-deprived,rock,emotionless,selfish,doesn’t care about human feelings( and many things that  I don’t give a crap about) by some other good-natured humans.

Whenever my PC or cell phone or speakers or any other gadget  does any jiggy-wiggy beyond my capability to fix it or when the TV channels get messed up or when there’s some fault in any product I bought  I pray so intensely to Shiva, simultaneously reciting Hanuman Chalisa(coz that’s the only prayer I know by heart. The ‘how come?’ Behind that is a long story!) to make it right magically BECAUSE I SWEAT EVEN IMAGINING MYSELF DIALLING THAT CUSTOMER CARE NUMBER and  trying to speak with a professionally trained , completely polite and willing to help person.….C’mon how can I handle so much genuine concern? I’m a rock remember?Ahem.

I sometimes get super uncomfortable while conversing with virtual people on social media and community forums though at times I may come out a little too chirpy for someone you just met. Wow!Go figure.

Weekend Mis/Adventures (Next time I’d rather stay home and ……..pour beer on my head?!)

Last weekend we visited my aunt Coz its monsoon and she lives 5 hrs. from the city and that place is abundant with amazing woods and there are majestic waterfalls gushing out of places still unknown to nature-polluting-crappy-humans-who-go-trekking and of course my family knows the trails  coz they like to be the first ones to raid unknown-to-civilization-secluded-spots.The first thing I did was to tick off items on my very own “the worst possible and possibly impossible scenarios that could splash water on our plans” list and after finding imaginary solutions to them….No no I don’t do it purposely it kindda comes with the being-Capricorn package …….or maybe it’s just me. Whatever. So after half an hour’s drive from my aunt’s we trekked some more through this really haunted looking jungle . It was super sunny and I got a bad/nice tan (depends on how you look at  that glass!) but halfway through and the climate transformed from “fuck-why’s-this-sun-blazing-in-monsoon-can’t-look-straight-maybe-I’ll-drop-dead” to “omfg-can-you-feel-the-mist-awesome-climate-here” and we heard the fall though it was still far away and passed/crossed its beautiful streams on our trail.

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When we actually emerged from the dense woods and saw it upfront ….I guess we must have scared the ghosts with the pitch of our voices if it were really a haunted forest!

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So my worst imagined scenario was of the pool reduced to a  puddle-size( coz it hadn’t rained for the past two days) and all of us trying to fit in it for a selfie! Hopefully that didn’t come true.But destiny had planned something completely unexpected which I hadn’t even thought of while crafting my eccentric list.

Barely 20 mins. into the water and a couple of pictures in , out and around it I was jolted out of my wits with such a  nerve-wrecking cramp in my right foot, that words couldn’t roll out of my tongue and I started gesturing wildly in the middle of chest-deep water. But Seriously?Footcramp?The last time I had one of those was like 5 years ago and I don’t have any pretty memories of it to say the least. I  even let the beer  fall out of my hand rather dramatically and I swear I saw it sinking in slow motion and the brown frothy drink mingling with pure transparent water and covering the colourful pebble stones for a teeny-weeny millisecond! Now that I remember-A PRO-TIP : Getting drunk on chilled beer In the middle of one of the coldest  water bodies in a misty cool climate while still half immersed in the water sprays may sound and definitely “feel” like the coolest idea but trust me its not a genius one! Now everyone of us(including the guy who made the stop at the first beer-shop on the way and paid for it) knew this very well. Let’s just say- sometimes my family doesn’t like using the brains at all and they like to call it creative thinking. Go figure.Now obviously me being the only intelligent creature within the perimeter didn’t drink it , though I was pouring and rubbing it on my hair .PRO-TIP 2 If u haven’t yet tried beer as a hair  conditioner what have you? Do it right now. Go! and don’t thank me coz I got a saint-like nature and I’m super-humble as…

Anyways that was just when the cramp hit and then for nothing less than an hour I was left sitting on the cornerstone( yeah I sat on this huge stone in one corner of the stream bed) rubbing gin on my nastily twisted  paining  foot!  When I couldn’t take my boredom or rest of my kin’s enjoyment anymore I sneaked half of it in my mouth ( Bad decision! I still prefer Benadryl…….) with an expression of painful grief viz. usually saved for maybe when your cat dies.Guess I was the only one who  didn’t drink as much as got drenched in the drinks from head to toe!  

However I did enjoy the amazing views.For eg: One of my cousins (Three beers down, I later learned) sitting on a big black rock in the middle of the plunge pool with the fall gushing at her background, her long hair sticking to her face, legs folded Padmaasanastyle, hands on her knees, chin up, delivering a narrow stream of water from her full mouth like a totally creepy human water fountain….getting drunk like a fish is super-cool as long as you’re on the audience side!

When at last the cramp subsided I still didn’t move for the fear that it might come back with a snap but then couldn’t resist when everyone gathered for a groupfie and I ended-up dragging  my ass into the water(literally)  with this brave and passionate expression to join them and everyone started cheering like I was just on the verge of finishing some on-your-ass-marathon championship. Though after the pictures When the time came to “move it” from everyone’s way I finally got up and took on my now-normal feet but the stones were uneven with no sign of firm soil and this time I snapped the left foot in a way much worse than the right one. I was carried and dropped at my sweet home-‘The Rock’, once again. Sigh!  Worse shit has happened to me so I just take it all as a routine now. Anyways. By the time we were having our lunch (finally something elevating), a group of 20-something kids emerged out of the woods with a cartoonish awed expression. Maybe we failed to  qualify as Columbus this time.

So I could’nt even dip my feet in the water even though I wanted to swim so badly. My situation was similar to that obese kid in a candy shop mummified and tied down to one place, and that place just seems to be from where he gets the best view of all the candies stacked neatly, calling out to him to come and relish..AAARGHHH!!  but other than enjoying in the water I did certain activities which were much more pleasing and satisfying. Like say – collecting colourful and weird shaped pebbles and stones( which I threw downstream on way back ….what? They were stones not sea-shells!)or watching that guy in neon boxers involuntarily shiver whenever out of the water or three of my cousins who couldn’t keep it down and were frolicking-Yeah that’s the exact word- FROLICKING in “shallow waters” in their drunken state- or how when it started to  drizzle slightly the fall started gushing furiously forward and people started moving backwards and the water level rose. Yeah I know… keen observation and genius conclusions of my smart ass! I even stared at its face continuously and yes it did have that hypnotizing effect which I can’t put into words. Try it yourself. WARNING: you will feel more than a little dizzy when you’re at it. duh! So I truely enjoyed mysel….. NOOO. THAT’S A LIE IF YOU HAVE’NT FIGURED IT OUT AAAHHHHH !! WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN TO ME ALL THE TIME EVEYONE’S ENJOYING THEMSELVES NO ONE EVEN CARES ABOUT ME  DORAEMOOooNNN!!! I DON’T EVEN HAVE A DORAEMON!! DAMN AARGHH…

I was so desperate that I made them stop at the beach on the way back to have a “quick” long swim. My old buddy ocean still loves me though. Plus it has soft sand and water that’s not too cold and no fucking pebbles and stupid stones to twist my feet. Fresh water bodies may be hypnotizing and heavenly and blah blah blah  blah blah but I prefer the salty sea anytime and now I appreciate it more than ever. Uh-huh.

On a brighter note, my hair now feels super soft and shiny! And you know why;)

How to ditch this ditching habit? No. Don’t answer that!

I am one lazy ass. Make that two. But that doesn’t change the fact. The lazy part I mean, asses we all are….ALRIGHT! For starters I haven’t attended a single class since ..Wait..Yeah the last visit I paid was in…so that makes it..Right! More close to 25 days. Let me repeat. I . HAVE’NT PAID MY VISIT TO  ANY OF THE SEVEN CLASSES  SINCE TWENTY DAYS. Wow. This is a new level even for me. Considering our attendance marks are added to our end result and there is this teach who (once when I was present during her lecture) commented that “ no matter what I ain’t gonna give a fuck about the class participation marks of those students who don’t attend my class regularly”-now if you exclude the language that’s exactly what she said as far as I remember- DON’T YOU DOUBT MY MEMORY NOW! It’s better than anyone within a kilometre circumference from me. Did I mention I am writing this sitting on a lone beach in a remote part of…..never mind.

So This is what I do around the evening-I check the next day’s time table and decide the lectures are quite important so I must attend and I set the alarm at night and tell people to wake me up coz “I’m a  goin study tomorrow baby” and pack the bag in advance (in case the fact that the bag needs to be packed dampens my spirit to get out of bed). I go to sleep.

And. This is what I do the next morning. I wake up alright. Even before the alarm goes off. Then I go over the time-table in my  head. I find that it’s not that important after all and I turn the alarm off before it has a chance to ring its balls and then I go to sweet sleep and I don’t even do guilt because I pledge to myself that no matter what tomorrow I’m going to attend the lectures.
Now y’all geniuses don’t need me to tell you what happens on the tomorrow.

But seriously this is grave. And it’s new for even me. Now it won’t affect my exam grades . Rather I prefer self-studying-when I care to study that is. But I do study when the exam’s near and  do pretty alright. I’m not even trying to be humble but once I started studying on the exact day the time-table was out and I topped my division passing the girl who ONLY STUDIES all day and maybe night , by wee little point percentage.Yeah,I’m Einstein reborn. Nice observation!

Fairy-tales or Gory-tales…

So I was watching a rerun of this supernatural episode(Bedtime Stories) & was reminded of the Grimm brothers &
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that’s why I’m writting this. I love supernatural and Dean Winchester by the way.

Now you must be aware of the original version of Grimm’s fairy/folk tales & how full of gore, sex, violence they used to be before the content was scraped, altered & edited CBFC style and made suitable for children audience right? If yes then I’m not going to write anything contrary here! But for those who never came across them , here are some actual versions of your favourite fairytales just to mess-up your pretty lives! Yeah I’m wicked like that..

So first up is RapunzelForget about the original, the disney version itself is nothing better. Now that’s where the idea of sneaking your guy in through the window past midnight came from, eh?
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Back to the original version, Rapunzel infact gets pregnant with the prince’s child after regular erotic encounters and her inflated belly is how our villian/witch/evil fairy gets to know about the royal affair. She cuts Rapunzel’s locks, banishes her into the woods, seduces the prince up the tower with those locks & pushes him down on the thorns to his blindness! All ends wells though when the blind prince reunites with Rapunzel & their newborn….

Little Red Ridding HoodA wolf, a cute girl & her grandma! Meh. This tale was actually about a sex predator a.k.a. The Wolf who tries to lure a virgin girl a.k.a.Red Riding Hood INTO HIS BED! In those days a girl who lost her virginity was said to have “seen the wolf”. Got it? Uh huh. That said this story never had a happy ending until many versions later.

Sleeping BeautyWoken by the kiss of her lover prince!
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OMG how romantic they yada yada yada…But seriously that one used to be my favourite and somewhat relatable( No, not the prince part. The forever sleeping one!) i.e. until i came across the ancient version where this King tries to wake her up & when he can’t, decides to rape her instead(yes in her sleep). She even gives birth to children in that deep sleep of hers (don’t ask me how.I am not capable of answering such intellectual questions!). So this newborn sucks the splinter off her finger & she’s pulled out of her slumber & no doubt wishes to go back in her dream world seeing life as it is! Anyways. To top it off the rapist king has a queen who hates our S.B. & plots a plan with the cook to get her children  served on the king’s platter which goes flop and the king burns her instead in the end….Ha! So much for a good night’s sleep.

Now to my favourite SnowwhiteAgain forget the prince’s kiss! Rather Here he tries  carrying her entire coffin with him to the palace (for you know what). Then comes a bump in the road & with it the poisonous apple chunk pops out of Snow white’s mouth and she’s back to life! Anywho she marries the necrophilic pervert of a prince & the evil stepmom is made to dance in their wedding. In hot iron boots. Till she drops dead.Yes.

The Frog Prince-In one version, it’s not a kiss from the princess that transforms the frog into a prince( bless her lips) but chopping off his head.image

In another, the princess slams him on the wall for the great transformation to occur!

Rumpelstiltskin– So after the miller’s daughter-turned-queen guesses Rumpelstiltskin’s true name, he’s defeated and disapears from the face of earth. Right? No.
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The unedited version goes like this: “The devil has told you that! the devil has told you that!” cried the little man, and in his anger he plunged his right foot so deep into the earth that his whole leg went in; and then in rage he pulled at his left leg so hard with both hands that he tore himself in two.

Ouch!

Thank god we never came across these as kids. But what would’ve happened if we did?…
…..Maybe Game of thrones would’ve seemed like another fairy-tale!