Now each one of us must have had this feeling when an advert comes up on tv and you literally want to shatter that idiot box. Now I’m getting those feelings frequently more than ever . But I never do shatter my tv coz I ain’t a moron. Instead I’ll eat your ears about it. Or your eyes. whatever.
The toppers on my list:
The engage deo ad…. Not long back it occupied the rank 1 position on making-all-indian-families-uncomfy list. Maybe it still does… Why? Umm let’s see…….Maybe coz no one’s used to watching a malnourished looking couple trying to jump bones in public AND that too “fully clothed” . Who does it like that? I mean who does that! But seriously I don’t find anything sexy in there. It COULD have been sexy if there was a different music track(the music could have sounded nice minus the visuals maybe), non-malnourished looking actually hot models, and of course everything else which they didn’t think of.
As I always say – The “what” doesn’t matter, the “how” does. See, no one really cares what you’re saying/doing so far as your presentation doesn’t fuck them off! Your welcome.
For eg- Just yesterday the new jockey advert popped up on my screen. If you haven’t watched- its just about a couple of people waking up..starting their day with a fresh pair of underwear and dancing beautifully to a track which goes like this “Its a new daaawn….new liiife….I LOVE MY JOCKEY… hoo-ha! feeling good” Okay maybe it doesn’t go like this but i like it nevertheless. So what I’m trying to say is – these practically half- naked people leave everyone smiling & me dancing but the fully dressed eejits recieve a hissing or clucking(depends on her mood) sound from my mummy.
I’m not even starting about the airtel fucking 4G irritant. Just When i thought its over they come up with this open network bullshit.Everytime(&that’s really too many times) those natural/screwball acting/venting mud-fuckers come up on my tv I wanna bash each one of their heads on the wall Jamie- Lannister-style. And if your network is so pathetic JUST SWITCH BITCH.Its not that difficult .Plus these guys are actually letting everybody know how they suck & when & where & that too real time. Open network my ass do whatever the fuck but not on my tv or I’ll …..I’ll MUTE YA’LL!!!
Harpic– VISH-SHAAAL!!! Oh for the love of crap tune it down woman.He is just there to clean your toilet and he ain’t Salman Khan!
Ambi-pur – Now that product ain’t even half bad but they are going overboard with the ad. Plus I personally hate the natural acting bs going on around nowadays. And is no one signing up Boman Irani for movies? what’s he doing in that weird woman’s kitchen!
Sanitary pads– Okay .Let’s make this clear.Any sane person, bleeding or not ,WOULD NOT GO OFF PRANCING LIKE THAT IDIOT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAMN ROAD!!!
And then there’s that other one, where this girl on her periods, leaving all the space there is , makes her way through a human traffic practically shoving her pad-clad ass in the face of this poor guy who just happens to be sitting …..NOW HOW HYGENIC IS THAT!
And don’t correct me coz I’m right when I say that the most cheap & pathetic & teeth-grinding adverts are aired on news channels.Especially the one featuring Sunny leonne and her box of condoms. I don’t even…