Meaty March Madness//Freaky Food Fads

Firstly, I’d like to own-up to the fact that the title is slightly misleading: In this post I’ll be posting pictures of my February cooking, which is mostly meat– that’s why the “meaty” part, I slid in the “March” for the purpose of alliteration alone. Sorry not sorry.
So let’s begin. . .

But before that: what’s up with this meat-alternatives-fad? Why are people still giving a flying pork for artificially engineered bloody- heme-burgers? Is it more than a fad now. . . are they calling it a trend?

For those of you who don’t have a clue what a “heme” is, that’s okay, unless you’re a hematologist. But if you’ve never heard of the Bloody Burger a.k.a. The Impossible Burger (I envy your sheltered existence), read on, and let me mess up your innocent world.

So, What is a “heme”?

Heme is an iron-containing molecule in blood that carries oxygen. It’s heme that makes your blood red and makes raw meat appear pink and taste slightly metallic.
It’s highly concentrated in red meat, but can also be found in plants. The said burger creator believes that everything from an animal’s fat tissue to muscle cells can be replicated using plant compounds . . . and you can guess the rest!

The heme in the “Impossible Burger” is atom-for-atom identical to the heme found in meat. “Identical” is the crucial word here people; on a related note, my uncle looks insanely identical to Ricky Martin.

Anyway, I wouldn’t eat it for free. It may look like meat, smell like it, and even sizzle on the pan while it sears, oozing fat and … NO! It still won’t mean anything to me, except a brilliant assortment of plant cells. While people are praising its environmental saving and meat sustaining strategies, the Impossible Burger’s safety for human consumption has not been given a heads-up by the Food Authority.

Still, if and when meat starts vanishing from the face of earth, I’d convert to a vegetarian (never vegan) before eating something fake like that–sorry, but that level of carne-desperation is not cool at all. Or I can move to another galaxy which never runs out of meat…

At least, it managed to bust the myth that said, “vegan food is always healthy!”

However, I always assumed the best part of crazy food fads, is the fact myth that they leave as super-fast as they come–zoodles (or zucchini noodles), coffee in avocados, jell-o salads, activated charcoal everything, etc. (Meat juice, anyone?)

A Short Scary Story: Not long back (depending on how you perceive time), a guy–eerily named Valentine–came up with a unique medicine for his wife who had been seriously ill for weeks, to the extent that it was impossible for her to eat/digest anything.Through experimentation, Valentine worked out a process of rendering all the goodness of raw meat into a highly condensed form. Unlike other meat extracts, which were manufactured through boiling or roasting, this wasn’t. Let’s just say, it was the good old raw-meat-juice, supposed to be taken two tablespoons orally. Until not long after, some 19th century Quack Doctors started administering it straight up the rear of patients as a miracle cure. Fans of the juice swore by the stuff, including President Garfield, who went as far as crediting Valentine’s meat juice for aiding his recovery from an assassination attempt.

See, I don’t like fads like that. Why not follow something cooler like…the new meat cuts of 2018 instead! Yeah, there are people whose jobs are to come up with new methods of cutting meat up and give it cool labels such as shoulder tender, sirloin flap, Merlot cut, etc. Sounds more like fabric cuts to me. And it’s predicted to be one of 2018’s top food trends! Fashionable, right?

That would make it even, considering veganism has had more than its fair share. No, I’ve got nothing against vegans; infact, people going all those lengths for a healthy living gives me goosebumps.

Meanwhile in my kitchen. . .

“There is no sincerer love than the love of food.”- George Bernard Shaw

Now, no need to get carried away and dump your partner for a pair of greasy lamb chops!

What are your favorite food-fads from the past year/s? Which ones you found the craziest? I think of Paleo as one of the sensible lots***, what about you?

P.S.

As i said, I got nothing against our vegan friends…